Jessica pulled on my arm.

"Hello? Bella? What do you want?"

I looked down; my ears were hot. I had no reason to feel self-conscious,
I reminded myself. I hadn't done anything wrong.

"What's with Bella?" Mike asked Jessica.

"Nothing," I answered. "I'll just get a soda today." I caught up to the
end of the line.

"Aren't you hungry?" Jessica asked.

"Actually, I feel a little sick," I said, my eyes still on the floor.

I waited for them to get their food, and then followed them to a table,
my eyes on my feet.

I sipped my soda slowly, my stomach churning. Twice Mike asked, with
unnecessary concern, how I was feeling.

I told him it was nothing, but I was wondering if I should play it up and
escape to the nurse's office for the next hour.

Ridiculous. I shouldn't have to run away.

I decided to permit myself one glance at the Cullen family's table. If he
was glaring at me, I would skip Biology, like the coward I was.

I kept my head down and glanced up under my lashes. None of them were
looking this way. I lifted my head a little.

They were laughing. Edward, Jasper, and Emmett all had their hair
entirely saturated with melting snow. Alice and Rosalie were leaning away
as Emmett shook his dripping hair toward them. They were enjoying the
snowy day, just like everyone else — only they looked more like a scene
from a movie than the rest of us.

But, aside from the laughter and playfulness, there was something
different, and I couldn't quite pinpoint what that difference was. I
examined Edward the most carefully. His skin was less pale, I decided —
flushed from the snow fight maybe — the circles under his eyes much less
noticeable. But there was something more. I pondered, staring, trying to
isolate the change.

"Bella, what are you staring at?" Jessica intruded, her eyes following my
stare.

At that precise moment, his eyes flashed over to meet mine.

I dropped my head, letting my hair fall to conceal my face. I was sure,
though, in the instant our eyes met, that he didn't look harsh or
unfriendly as he had the last time I'd seen him. He looked merely curious
again, unsatisfied in some way.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you," Jessica giggled in my ear.

"He doesn't look angry, does he?" I couldn't help asking.

"No," she said, sounding confused by my question. "Should he be?"

打开的书（7）

    杰西卡拽了一下我的胳膊。

    "喂？贝拉？你要点儿什么？"

    我垂下头望着地上；双耳滚烫。我没有理由感到不好意思，我提醒自己。我没做错什么。

    "贝拉怎么啦？"迈克问杰西卡。

    "没事儿，"我回答，"今天我就要一杯苏打水。"我追上了队尾。

    "你不饿？"杰西卡问。

    "实际上，我有点儿不舒服，"我说，双眼依然望着地上。

    我等候他们买好饭，然后跟着他们去了一张桌子，两眼看着自己的双脚。

    我不紧不慢地啜饮自己的苏打水，胃里直翻腾。迈克问了两遍，瞎操心，问我感觉如何。我告诉他没事儿，可我心里在想，下节课我是不是应该装不舒服，逃到护士办公室去。

    可笑。我又没做亏心事，凭什么非得逃跑啊？

    我决定让自己再瞥爱德华他们几个坐的那张桌子一眼。要是他在瞪我的话，我就逃掉生物课了，就像从前一样，再当一回胆小鬼。

    我没抬起头来，而是从睫毛下面往上瞥了一眼。他们谁都没望着这个方向。我稍微抬了抬头。

    他们在哈哈大笑。爱德华、贾斯帕和埃美特的头发全都让融雪彻底浸透了。爱丽丝和罗莎莉正歪向一侧，因为埃美特冲她俩在使劲儿甩着滴水的头发。他们在尽情享受雪天的乐趣，就像所有其他人一样——只是他们比我们其余的人更像是某部电影里的一个镜头。

    不过，除了笑声和顽皮之外，还是有一些不一样的地方，是什么地方不一样，我说不太准确。我对爱德华的观察最为仔细。他的皮肤没那么苍白了，我判定——或许是打雪仗打红了的——他眼睛下面的眼圈远没有前几天那样明显了。但还不止这些。我一边盯着瞧，一边回想，试图找出是哪里有了变化。

    "贝拉，你在盯着瞧什么呀？"杰西卡扰乱了我的思路，她顺着我的目光看了过去。

    就在那一刻，他的目光闪过来和我的碰了个正着。

    我低下了头，让头发垂下来遮住了我的脸。虽然我们的目光只有那么一霎那的交汇，然而，我可以有把握地说，他的目光不像上次我看到他时那么锐利和不友好了。他显得只是又很好奇了，还有些不满。

    "爱德华·卡伦在盯着你看呢，"杰西卡在我耳边咯咯地笑着说道。

    "他看上去没有生气，对吧？"我禁不住问道。

    "对，"她说，听上去好像让我给问糊涂了，"他应该生气吗？"