INVITATIONS

That was the first night I dreamed of Edward Cullen.

In my dream it was very dark, and what dim light there was seemed to be
radiating from Edward's skin. I couldn't see his face, just his back as
he walked away from me, leaving me in the blackness. No matter how fast I
ran, I couldn't catch up to him; no matter how loud I called, he never
turned. Troubled, I woke in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep
again for what seemed like a very long time. After that, he was in my
dreams nearly every night, but always on the periphery, never within
reach.

The month that followed the accident was uneasy, tense, and, at first,
embarrassing.

To my dismay, I found myself the center of attention for the rest of that
week. Tyler Crowley was impossible, following me around, obsessed with
making amends to me somehow. I tried to convince him what I wanted more
than anything else was for him to forget all about it — especially since
nothing had actually happened to me — but he remained insistent. He
followed me between classes and sat at our now-crowded lunch table. Mike
and Eric were even less friendly toward him than they were to each other,
which made me worry that I'd gained another unwelcome fan.

No one seemed concerned about Edward, though I explained over and over
that he was the hero — how he had pulled me out of the way and had nearly
been crushed, too. I tried to be convincing. Jessica, Mike, Eric, and
everyone else always commented that they hadn't even seen him there till
the van was pulled away.

I wondered to myself why no one else had seen him standing so far away,
before he was suddenly, impossibly saving my life. With chagrin, I
realized the probable cause — no one else was as aware of Edward as I
always was. No one else watched him the way I did. How pitiful.

Edward was never surrounded by crowds of curious bystanders eager for his
firsthand account. People avoided him as usual. The Cullens and the Hales
sat at the same table as always, not eating, talking only among
themselves. None of them, especially Edward, glanced my way anymore.

When he sat next to me in class, as far from me as the table would allow,
he seemed totally unaware of my presence. Only now and then, when his
fists would suddenly ball up — skin stretched even whiter over the bones
— did I wonder if he wasn't quite as oblivious as he appeared.

梦里，很黑，惟一的一点儿昏暗的光，似乎是爱德华的皮肤发出来的。我看不见他的脸，只能看见他的背影，他正离我而去，把我留在了黑暗之中。不管我跑多快，总也追不上他；不管喊多大的声，他也不回头。一急，我半夜的时候醒了，似乎有好长一段时间硬是再也睡不着。打这以后，差不多每天夜里他都会出现在我的梦里，但他总在我碰触不到的外围，永远都是近在咫尺又遥不可及。

    接下来的一个月出现的事情很令人不安、紧张，尤其是尴尬。

    令我感到郁闷的是，我发现自己成了后半周大家关注的中心。泰勒·克劳利真让人受不了，成天跟着我转，老想着怎么补偿我。我努力让他相信我最想要的就是，他把这件事统统忘掉——尤其是，实际上他根本就没给我带来任何伤害——可他就是一根筋儿地坚持。他课间跟着我，吃午饭也挤到我们现在已经很拥挤的桌子上来凑热闹。迈克和埃里克对他的敌意，甚至超过了他们彼此间的敌意，弄得我很担心自己又多了一个不受欢迎的粉丝。

    似乎谁也不关心爱德华，尽管我有一遍无一遍地解释说他是英雄——还解释了他把我拉开的过程以及差点儿让车给辗了的情形。我使尽了浑身解数，力图描述得可信一点。可杰西卡、迈克、埃里克以及其他所有人总是说他们在客货两用车拉走之前，连看都没有看到他。

    我暗自纳闷，为什么别人谁都没有看见在他突然难以置信地救了我的命之前，他站在那么老远的地方呢。我懊恼地意识到了一个可能的原因——别人谁都不像我那样总是在注意爱德华。别人谁都不曾像我那样注视过他。真是可怜啦。

    爱德华身边从来没有好奇的旁观者围着，想听他的第一手描述。人们还是像往常一样对他敬而远之。卡伦兄妹仨和黑尔姐弟俩依旧坐在那张桌子上，不吃东西，只是他们几个之间相互聊天。他们谁都不瞟我这边一眼了，尤其是爱德华。

    上课他坐在我旁边时，也是能离我多远就离多远，似乎根本就不知道我的存在。只是偶尔他突然攥紧拳头，青筋暴露，皮肤更白了的时候，我才会怀疑他是不是不像看上去的那样健忘。