A bachelor has to have inspiration for making love to a woman, a married man needs only an excuse. （Helen Rowland）

光棍汉必须得绞尽脑汁才能和女人做爱，已婚男只需想出一个借口。

What do I know about sex? I'm a married man. （Tom Clancy）

我怎么知道做爱是咋回事儿？我是已婚男子。

Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man. （Helen Rowland）

撒谎是男孩的错误，情人的艺术，光棍的成就，已婚男人的第二天性。

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single. （Henry Louis Mencken）

结婚的男人是不会真正幸福的，如果他结婚后喝的威士忌不得不比单身时常喝的威士忌差的话。

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. （Oscar Wilde）

男人结婚，因为他们已经疲倦了；女人结婚，因为她们感到好奇了，结果两人都大失所望。

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. （Albert Einstein）

女人嫁给男人，希望他们会所有改变。男人娶个女人，希望她们会永远不变。所以双方必然会失望的。

Nowadays, all the married men live like bachelors, and all the bachelors like married men. （Oscar Wilde）

如今，所有的已婚男人过得像一个单身汉，而所有的单身汉过得像已婚男人。

A man who marries a woman to educate her falls victim to the same fallacy as the woman who marries a man to reform him. （Elbert Hubbard）

一个娶了女人想教育她的男人，和一个嫁给男人想改造他的女人都沦为同一个谬误的牺牲品。

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. （Sam Kinison）

我可不担心什么恐怖主义，我都结婚两年了。

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. （Hemant Joshi）

结婚之后，老公和老婆就成为一枚硬币的两面；他们就是没法面对自己的另一半，却仍然待在一起。

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. （Joanne Woodward）

性感不久就会逐渐消失，美色也会随之枯谢，但嫁给一个能让你每天开怀大笑的男人，啊，这才真正是令人满意的结果。

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. （James Holt McGavran）

有一种比电子银行还要快的转帐方式。它叫做婚姻。 [译者注：结婚离婚都可]

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.（Patrick Murray）

我在两个老婆身上的运气都很差。前面的那个扔下了我。现在的这个我扔不掉。

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.（Milton Berle）

一个好妻子总会在她错了的时候原谅她的丈夫。

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.（Socrates）

婚姻是这样一所学校：男人会失去学士学位/单身汉的地位，而女人会获得硕士学位/征服者的地位。[译者注：双关语]

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. （Henry Youngman）

晚上你回到家里，有一个女人会给你一眼爱情，一手温情，一怀柔情。你知道这意味着什么吗？这意味着你走错房子了，就是这个意思。

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. （Nash）

保持婚姻幸福的两大秘密是： 1. 一旦错了，立刻承认；2. 一旦对了，立刻闭嘴。

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.（Anonymous）

婚姻是唯一的和敌人同床共眠的战争。