He wished he hadn't pulled me from the path of Tyler's van — there was no
other conclusion I could come to.

I wanted very much to talk to him, and the day after the accident I
tried. The last time I'd seen him, outside the ER, we'd both been so
furious. I still was angry that he wouldn't trust me with the truth, even
though I was keeping my part of the bargain flawlessly. But he had in
fact saved my life, no matter how he'd done it. And, overnight, the heat
of my anger faded into awed gratitude.

He was already seated when I got to Biology, looking straight ahead. I
sat down, expecting him to turn toward me. He showed no sign that he
realized I was there.

"Hello, Edward," I said pleasantly, to show him I was going to behave
myself.

He turned his head a fraction toward me without meeting my gaze, nodded
once, and then looked the other way.

And that was the last contact I'd had with him, though he was there, a
foot away from me, every day. I watched him sometimes, unable to stop
myself— from a distance, though, in the cafeteria or parking lot. I
watched as his golden eyes grew perceptibly darker day by day. But in
class I gave no more notice that he existed than he showed toward me. I

was miserable. And the dreams continued.

Despite my outright lies, the tenor of my e-mails alerted Renée to my
depression, and she called a few times, worried. I tried to convince her
it was just the weather that had me down.

Mike, at least, was pleased by the obvious coolness between me and my lab
partner. I could see he'd been worried that Edward's daring rescue might
have impressed me, and he was relieved that it seemed to have the
opposite effect. He grew more confident, sitting on the edge of my table
to talk before Biology class started, ignoring Edward as completely as he
ignored us.

The snow washed away for good after that one dangerously icy day. Mike
was disappointed he'd never gotten to stage his snowball fight, but
pleased that the beach trip would soon be possible. The rain continued
heavily, though, and the weeks passed.

Jessica made me aware of another event looming on the horizon — she
called the first Tuesday of March to ask my permission to invite Mike to
the girls' choice spring dance in two weeks.

"Are you sure you don't mind… you weren't planning to ask him?" she
persisted when I told her I didn't mind in the least.

"No, Jess, I'm not going," I assured her. Dancing was glaringly outside
my range of abilities.

邀请（2）

    他很后悔当初不该把我从泰勒的客货两用车前面拉开——除此，我得不出任何别的结论。

    我很想跟他谈谈，而且事故发生的当天我就试过了。我最后一次见到他的时候，在急救室的外面，我俩都是那样的愤怒。即使我一直说到做到，无可挑剔，可他还是不信任我，不告诉我真相，这一点我依然很生气。不过他确实救过我一条命，无论他是怎样救的。一夜过后，我的火气消了不说，还生出了肃然的感激之情。

    我去上生物学的时候，他已经坐在座位上了，眼睛盯着正前方。我坐下了，希望他会转过来脸来，可他丝毫没有流露出知道我在旁边的表情。

    "喂，爱德华，"我和颜悦色地叫了他一声，想让他知道我心平气和了。

    他的脸往我这边扭了一丁点儿，没有和我的目光相遇，点了一下头，然后又望到一边去了。

    那便是我跟他的最后一次接触，虽然他每天都坐在我旁边，距我仅咫尺之遥。不过，有时在自助餐厅或停车场，我还是会情不自禁地从远处注视他。我注意到他金色的双眸明显地一天比一天暗了。但上课的时候，我也不太注意他的存在，他注意我多少，我就注意他多少，决不比他多。我真是可怜。而梦仍在继续。

    虽然我在电子邮件中写的全是彻头彻尾的谎话，但蕾妮还是从中隐约觉察出了我的消沉，她还来过几次电话，很是担心。我想了很多办法，力图让她相信我情绪低落，纯粹是天气造成的。

    我和实验搭档之间明显的冷淡，至少令迈克很高兴。我看得出他一直担心爱德华的英勇相救可能会感动我，而现在他放心了，结果似乎适得其反。他越来越自信了，生物学上课之前总要坐在我桌子边上聊，根本就不把爱德华放在眼里，就像他根本不把我们放在眼里一样。

    自那个危险的冰天之后，雪彻底给冲没了。迈克很失望没能组织起他的那场雪仗，但他还是很高兴，因为很快就可以去海滩旅游了。不过雨依然很大，几周就这样过去了。

    杰西卡让我了解到了另一个即将到来的活动——她在三月的第一个星期四打了个电话给我，请我允许她邀请迈克参加两周后的女生择伴春季舞会。

    "你肯定你不会介意吗……你不打算邀请他？"我告诉她我一点儿都不介意后，她追问了一句。

    "不打算，杰西，我不准备参加舞会，"我给她吃了一颗定心丸。我最不擅长的就是跳舞了。